Tuesday, February 24, 2015

First Time

     There I was, sitting on a train, all by myself, headphones in with Jay-Z blaring. This is something I have never done before. I've honestly never traveled by myself for such a long distance. Sure, I drive up to school occasionally, but that route is ingrained in my mind. I can do it backwards and forwards, in the light and dark, in the snow and rain. But this trek was different. This time it was all me. No friends to keep me company and no parents to tell me which way to go. To say the least, I was a little terrified. To be completely honest, I am the girl at school that can't walk alone to her building at night because it scares me. I can't sit in the dining hall alone because I have a huge fear of being left or forgotten or being alone. My friends back at SMC know this all too well and often joke with me about it. Before I left, many of them said "Suze, I hope you gain some independence while you're abroad." Have I accomplished that? I think so. I am able to go on walks by myself or go get something to eat alone if I want too. 
     A few months ago I wouldn't have been able to do that. Sure, I love having my family or friends with me because what's the point of an adventure if you don't have someone there to enjoy it with. But there is something completely thrilling about being on your own. You can move at your own pace and take in way more things than if you were confined to a certain group of people. 
     Was I scared? Scared isn't even the word I would use. I would use a word like terrified. I was scared I was going to get lost. Get on the wrong train. Lose my ticket. None of those happened, thankfully, but I was still scared. But now I have confidence in myself to make smart choices and I know that my instinct and conscious are strong and correct. I am 20 (21 in 8 days!) and I finally figured it was time to gain a little independence. 
     That is why I am thankful to be abroad. It teaches you that sometimes you have to do things on your own and that there won't always be someone there to hold you hand every step of the way. Sure, traveling is nothing without mishaps, but it is how you take the things that go wrong and move forward. That is all that matters.
But don't worry, I wasn't on my own the whole time! It was all to be reunited with some of my best friends in the entire world. Crazy how summer camp has the ability to bring all these people together!
(l to r: Max, Mary, Sam, Dave, Katie, Nicole, Me, Pip, Morven)


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