When I was 13 years old, I thought that by the time I graduated college I would have everything figured out. I thought I would have the dream job I have always wanted, the love of my life standing next to me and a house to call home. I thought that I would bask in the freedom that my choices in life offered me and that I would get to make my own decisions and just live the life that I always envisioned for myself. Heck, I would probably say that my 13 year old self would have been psyched at the idea of adulthood.
But the older that I have gotten, the more I have realized that it is not the case. It is not really what I expected it to be. Who would have ever been able to tell me that adulthood would be this stressful and at times, depressing?
I go about every day seeing my friends that are in a career that they love, doing something that makes them happy. They are traveling, starting families and just all around being happy. At times it makes me want to detach. To step away from all of it because it makes me realize how small I am and how unsatisfied I am with the life that I am living. Sure, I have had job offers and countless interviews. I also think its hard to find your "forever career" or passion this early in the game. But with all that, it still makes it difficult.
I have developed anxieties about life that I don't think I have ever had before. I more often doubt my capabilities because of not being able to check boxes on job applications. At times I wish job applications would have less boxes for tangible skills and more for "nice person", "outgoing" and "creative" because at the end of the day, those are things that I value in myself.
But I guess adulthood is about welcoming these challenges and embracing them. I often say that my mistakes are my mentors. I learn from them and they always teach me something. I guess being an adult is just having a lot of mentors. So with all that, I welcome challenges. As soon as everything starts to click, things will start running smoothly like my 13 year old self thought.