So basically, I have been a little stressed. I think that in the last few days I have spent about 12 hours in a computer lab along with countless hours in my bed doing research and writing. Trust me people, this is not as easy as it sounds. (J.K Rowling, I give you so much credit.) Unfortunately, this stress has had a negative effect on my mood. I am often pretty cranky, tired and pretty withdrawn from other things. Normally in my free time I would watch some TV, search the web or nap. Recently, free time is filled with eating, showering and more writing.
On April 6th, I will have the opportunity to have a breather. I will be able to sort of sit back and relax (I say sort of because I am still taking global comm and that is one of the hardest classes in the MJD major). As of now, I am not happy in the progress that I have made. It seems that for every page I complete, I find something that I need to fix or change. It changes what was once an hour of editing into 3 hours of extra work on my layout or the actual writing of my chapters. It is difficult in that situation to not get mad or sad. I have found myself far too many times sitting in bed at night and just crying after trying to spend time writing and failing miserably.
One thing that I will say about this book is that it has really helped me to find myself. It has helped me be more independent and goal orientated. I have to be organized enough to force myself to spend time writing or sitting in front of a computer screen working in Photoshop, Illustrator or InDesign. I have to set priorities and sometimes, they definitely aren't the right ones, but then it teaches me how to recover. It has helped my mildly introverted self to be more extroverted in the sense that I have to reach out to people that I may have never had the opportunity to interact with. It has helped me to discover more about a topic that I already feel passionate about.
From now until April 6th will be a difficult time for me, I'm not going to lie. There is a lot of stuff to do and little time. Right now, I have a game plan. I know what I need to do and I plan on accomplishing it because I have become so emotionally invested in this project that I think it would pain me more than anything to not follow through with it.
So, I apologize for the lack of posts recently. There has been a lot going on. I think that taking "me time" and blogging might be a good place to put my energy. I will give it a go and let you know what happens!
Love,
Susanna
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What am I listening to?
